takes two to mango

"my garden is filled wiith papyas and mangos
jimmy buffet

"who stole all my mangos?"
mike stern's neighbor

yesterday was the fourth of july. but more significantly it was the celebration of mango melee. can you imagine, an island where they spend a whole day celbrating the mango. hard to imagine. quite inappropriate. i think it should last a week. the melee takes place at the botanical gardens. the botanical garden here is pretty much like the average st croix back yard but with signs on the trees and flowers identifying them. yards on st croix are spectacular, fending off the encroaching jungles waiting to overtake them. it is something of a norse mythology dilema. in the long run, the jungle wins (unless we overpopulate and pave the whole island). but in the meantime it's a glorious battle to see the brilliant green in battle with bright red flambouyants and purple bouganvilla. i skipped the mango eating competition this year. good thing. the winner consumed eight huge mangos in less time than it takes the rockies bullpen to blow a lead. it was ready, set, go, and the winner is ....... what made it even more amazing, however, is that adult contestants could use only one hand. several hundred people watching 10 people wearing garbage bags as formal wear trying to make a mango disappear. i suspect that the winner may have eaten the seeds. it was amazing how many things were made out of mangos. there is a mango dis, mango dat competition. i brought home mango chutney, mango jam, mango lip balm, had mango smoothey's, and admired the mango barbeque sauce and mango soap. i passed on the mango tennis racquet and bathing suits. there was also quite a bit of mango history. we learned that the actual fruit of temptation in the garden of eden was not the apple. in fact the ancient hebrew word for mango is kosherhotdog, which was mistakenly translated into the serpent's temptation of eve. it does make sense. who would have sacrificed paradise for an apple? but a ripe, juicy mango. that's another matter. also of historical interest was the legend of william's delight tell shooting the mango off of his son's head, and sir issac (fig) newton discovering gravity when a ripe mango plunked him on his noggin. i did have some difficulty when they referred to ty cobb as "the georgia mango," but some license is allowed at festival time. i have learned that there are a fair number of people who have mango allergies. i think next year it would be fun to have a competition on who can have the most severe breakout from peeling and eating mangos. i'll bring the videocamera, you bring the calamine lotion. following the melee it was fireworks on the beach. shorts and a tee shirt were more than ample. they always are unless you are in a government building where the rigid conservation of resources means that the airconditioner is never under 40 degrees. nor is it much over. time for lunch. should i try the mango lasagna or just walk over to my neighbor's and tap the tree? you'll never know.